Well, CL’s “Dr. Pepper” Contains No Surprises, Is A Pile Of Poo

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Although small snippets of the song leaked online some time ago, the final cut of CL’s “Dr. Pepper” collaboration with Diplo, Riff Raff and OG Maco officially released on Friday and it’s pretty much as bad as those early cuts suggested it would be.

Ostensibly inspired by a Dr. Pepper that CL drank after she got stood up in the studio by Diplo or something, the song does indeed feature such hot fire like:

Put it on ice, bitch Dr. Pepper

Feeling so clean, it don’t get no fresher

Chillin’ in the freezer when I’m under pressure

I put it on ice bitch, Dr. Pepper

Now put that on repeat for about three minutes and you have most of the lines in “Dr. Pepper.” Even if the hook wasn’t complete garbage, the song still suffers from a beat that trudges along with all the urgency of a tricycle stuck in mud and verses that are more room-temperature rot than hot fire. A beat this slow and geared towards the ominous either needs a rapid fire delivery for contrast or a voice with enough theatrical flair to carry the lumbering thumps of the beat. “Dr. Pepper” has neither. Riff Raff and CL barely try to do anything with their respective verses. If there is a (barely) saving grace, it’s OG Maco who seems to understand that a beat like this needs to be aggressively tackled rather than ridden but even that’s not really worth writing home about. The entire thing is about as lifeless as CL’s first verse.

Can’t handle this volume
Can’t handle this
Can’t handle this song
But you going bounce to this shit
Bounce to this shit
Bounce to this shit
Put your thizz face on, lemme see you bounce to this shit

Shit, CL’s verses in 2NE1’s English version of “Can’t Nobody” are more well developed than this.

When this first leaked, it would have been understandable to assume that it was a rough cut of a more polished product but “Dr. Pepper” actually ends up being about as bad as I feared it would be when the infamous chorus first popped up online all those months ago.

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14 comments

  1. Yeah, it’s almost like a bunch of Western artists are tying to sabotage the Asian. “Hey guys, let’s make a crappy song that we can attach her name to, so no one will take her seriously when she finally does debut for real, and she can’t refuse to work with us because we are all just successful enough that she can’t turn down our ‘help.'” Where was Scooter Braun while this was being recorded. Is he really expecting to make money with her or is he trying to sabotage her.

    This is the sort of shit you would expect Weird Al Yankovich to release as the B side to one of his parody singles.

  2. Kpoptartsarebestpoptarts · · Reply

    So I theorized a while ago that if Kpop was ever really going to take off in the states it would be through young black people. They set the trends in this country for the most part. If young blacks started to like Kpop, young white people would soon follow.

    Could it be that this is what they are going for here? Keep in mind that I have no idea what good rap or hip hop is supposed to sound like. From your review I’m guessing this is not it. But is it possible that a different demographic might like this? Or is it just too bad for anyone to possibly like?

    1. Riff Raff is white as f though, as is Diplo. It’s like, the absolute worst excuse for rap music and ‘black culture’ there is.
      As to whether people like this? Yeah there’s a ‘market’ for it, but I mean, the market for actually decent hip hop is way bigger.

      1. Huh. Well, I guess that gives you an indication of my knowledge of the genre.

      2. I don’t consider myself a hip-hop head anymore but damn, I feel fairly confident in saying that this is a bad and lazy song.

      3. It baffles my mind sometimes that Riff Raff is a real person and not a Jeremy Scott fever dream.

    2. I mean, it’s not like rap music has to be judged on some nether-realm of criteria. The song sounds like it should be a banger (the production isn’t even bad in my mind) but the hook is shit and most of the verses are unimaginative in rhyme and tempo.

  3. clrfcation · · Reply

    Is this how it’s supposed to work

  4. Shadow · · Reply

    Embarrassing.

    CL is not helping the kpop cause with this garbage.

  5. Shadow · · Reply

    Well here ya go. American hiphopheads praise this shit. The comments are funny though.

    http://www.koreaboo.com/netizens/american-hiphopheads-praise-cl-x-diplos-new-track-dr-pepper/

    1. Lol, that article pulled, like, 5 comments made by Redditors as evidence that HIP-HOP HEADZ LUV CL’S HAWT FIAH.

      1. Hey now! You watch what you say about Redditors. I are one and I are smrt!

      2. My bad, apologies to all the smrt Redditors out there 🙂

  6. Man… this track sucks like a bag of balls. The most annoying part are the lyrics, bcos it sounded very poser to me. Poser to the highest level. I can’t even get past the 1:00 mark of the track. Goddamn CL tsktsktsk

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