Yellow Slug’s Top Ten Waifus of 2013

fei selca

The end of the year means a lot of reflection and there may not be more reflecting done around these parts than on the hnnngggg-erificness of K-Pop stars. So, through a complicated algorithmic process which factors in various idols’ sexiness, hotness, cuteness, sexiness and presumed virtues that aesthetic beauty imparts, here are the top ten waifus of the year and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

10. Eunjung

Give me beauty or give me bullying.

Give me beauty or give me bullying.

Sure, she may or may not have been involved in bullying poor Hwayoung out of T-ara but the group’s bestest member gets some recognition here because she’s a very attractive woman, a decent singer and her lips should be envy of God.

9. Nicole Jung

Jiyoung photobombs perfection.

Jiyoung photobombs perfection perfecter.

This is likely the last hurrah for the best “Mr.” butt dancer to grace the planet. The K-Pop world will miss Nicole’s manic, almost-insane energy but she’ll probably conquer the baking world and re-make herself into a celebrity chef, making the most delicious cookies that her fellow idols will never be able to eat.

8. Bora

All the hearts belong to Bora.

All the hearts belong to Bora.

In a battle of K-Pop legs, Bora would win like LeBron James would win a pick up game at your local gym. Sure, she may not have a lot to offer musically (as Hyorin has shown, SISTAR is essentially Hyorin window-dressing) but Bora isn’t a part of SISTAR due to her vocal range. She is there to be devastatingly pretty and melt minds with her ridiculously sculpted legs. As far as taking care of that part of the business, Bora more than holds her own.

7. Sojin

Everything about this is correct.

Everything about this is correct.

Sojin may still be underrated here. She can dance. She is the backbone of Girl’s Day vocals which allows Minah to save her breath for bellowing. She’s also adorable and graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering which is just perfect. She has nowhere to go but up in life (and on this list).

6. Lizzy

lizzy after school wink

Owns, owns, owns.

If cute were a commodity, Lizzy would be under investigation for conspiring to have a monopoly on it. After School may get attention due to Nana and her unfathomable levels of beauty but don’t discount Lizzy. The stealth all-star brightens the After School stage and makes Orange Caramel somewhat bearable. After all, who could dislike the Death Note having, porn watching, self-proclaimed million dollar butt that is Lizzy.

5. Taeyeon

One selca to rule them all.

One selca to rule them all.

The kid leader of SNSD is about as dependable as it comes. If one wants to know what SNSD excels at, it’s essentially at being Taeyeon. Cute, pretty and “dorky” in a way which seems weirdly approachable for a girl who has led a life that is unlike that of 99% of the population. She has more nicknames than Diddy at this point but she is the leader of the top group in K-Pop, and it’s hard to argue that there is a better representative for the genre than Tae Tae.

4. Hyosung

Philosophers ponder whether the perfection of Hyosung can be real.

Philosophers ponder whether the perfection of Hyosung can be real.

SECRET didn’t release anything resembling “Poison” this year but you can’t keep Hyosung’s level of sexy down no matter how much aegyo you try to drown it in. Thank all that is holy for Yes lingerie for recognizing that Hyosung is the perfect spokesperson for any and all underwear and sleepwear. Hopefully, SECRET’s management took some notes and Hyosung can return to causing infinite feels across the internet this upcoming year.

3. Sera

Good night sweet world.

Good night sweet world.

A new challenger not only approached this season, she damn near conquered. Nine Muses was a group that was completely off my radar and now I am a Muse fiend already needing the next fix. Sera is the main reason why Nine Muses works. She can work the sexy angle like the others but her cuteness helps “ground” Nine Muses and keeps the Nine within the realm of cute and bubbly. She is also the best selca taker in the world and her twitter account should have its own annex in the Louvre.

2. Jessica Jung

Double trouble.

Double trouble.

All hail the ice princess of K-Pop. Jessica Jung is the OG waifu, mainly due to SNSD being the most popular K-Pop group, but her place on Waifu Mountain is about as secure as it gets.  Her nasally delivery can be hit or miss for some but there are few things that are more visually gratifying than seeing Jessica Jung absolutely slay everything around her, whether that be through her inexhaustable supply of photoshoots or covering “Miss Korea”. Long live the Sicachu.

1. Wang Fei Fei

But you knew this already.

But you knew this already.

If there is only one danger about Wang Fei Fei, it is that there are not enough words in the human language to adequately describe her heavenly light on this dark, dank Earth. Professional singer, phenomenal dancer and amazing chef are only the beginning of what should be world domination and a seat on God’s throne. We are all blessed to live during the Era of Fei and she floats on a cloud above the rest of Waifu Mountain, only coming down from her place among the stars every so often to remind everyone that there are idols, there are goddesses and then there is Fei.

Have a happy and safe New Year y’all.

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14 comments

  1. I love Nicole, Bora, & Jessica! ❤

    1. I thought the same thing. No Nana?

      1. Nana was tough to leave off but it was either that or be bullied out of existence by Eunjung.

  2. No Kyungri? damn i thought you biased her lol, but it’s ok since you put Sera that high, even you knew them only since their “WILD” promotion XD

    1. Kyungri was my gateway drug into Nine Muses but Sera is where it’s at.

  3. Kpoptartsarebestpoptarts · · Reply

    I would replace Jessica with Min, but it’s hard to quibble over what you’ve done here.

    What I find mind-blowing is that the difference between these ten and what would make up a bottom ten is almost insignificant. So much beauty and talent emanating from such a small country seems impossible.

    1. This is the truth.

  4. Ha ha, I was half expecting you to fill up 9 of the 10 slots with all the members of 9 Muses. Sera, you’re gorgeous, girl. You’re not short nor have thick thighs (her words, not mine).
    Fei can be so pretty when she smiles. Unfortunately, almost all of Miss A’s MV and official photos have them not smiling and unfortunately, I just can’t get behind shots like this: http://cdn.popdust.com//wp-content/uploads/2013/11/miss-A-Fei-Hush-01.jpg . Come on JYP, would it kill you to let the ladies smile once in a while?!

    1. 9 out of my top 10 waifus are all Nine Muses just because they owned it up this year. 10th place goes to Krystal from f(x) cause I’ve been an avid Krystal fan for a long time until Moon Hyuna came along and dominated everything.

    2. I am a Muse stan for sure but I was closer to making 9/10 spots Fei more than anything else haha,

  5. black soshi · · Reply

    Taengsic is here too.

  6. fei. hands down. i just really love her sobs

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