1. Miss a disbands and Suzy teams up with IU to form the Nation’s Little Twerking Team. The consequent netizen tears will then be distilled and the water will solve the world’s drought problems for the next fifty years.
2. SNSD disbands to finally grow up. Tiffany and Taeyeon get gay married. Seohyun goes on to become the leader of the UN and disperses the world’s replenishing netizen tears to drought-ridden countries. Yoona pursues an acting career while Sunny gets a career in her true talent of variety. Sooyoung is confirmed to have been some sort of apparition that was never real in the first place and Hyoyeon moonwalks home on shoes made of money.
3. Nine Muses disbands and immediately pursue coordinated solo efforts. This ensures that there will be one Nine Muse every month, thus perpetually allowing the world to worship the glory of the Nine all year around.
4. Wang Fei Fei of the disbanded Miss a, Jessica Jung of the disbanded SNSD and Ryu Sera of the disbanded Nine Muses form their own trio. It will be called HNNNNGGGGG. Yellow Slug then ascends to heaven on the power of his own nose bleeds and feels. The world rejoices and the Rapture occurs as the real holy trinity is formed.
Thanks Fat Red Man in the Sky!
Merry Christmas and happy holidays y’all.