The results for the 2013 Mnet Asian Music Awards are in and the results are only somewhat surprising. Here’s the winners and running commentary in italics for those results that stand out for good and bad.
Best dance female solo : CL “The Baddest Female” – In this universe, Kahi doesn’t exist apparently.
Best dance performance female group : SISTAR “Give It To Me” – Bora made glass tables the envy of the entire male population. Well earned.
Nissan Juke Best Music Video : G-Dragon – Nissan Juke Award brought to you by Adderall.
Discovery of the year : BaeChiGi
Best New Female Artist: Crayon Pop – I will have to eventually get around to listening to Crayon Pop. I accept it.
Best Asian Artist Singapore : Derrick Hoh
Best Asian Artist Vietnam : Thu Minh
Best Asian Artist Singapore : Tor Saksit
Best Asian Artist Indonesia : SM + SH
Best Asian Artist Japan : Kyary Pamyu Pamyu – All hail the Queen of J-Pop batshit crazy!
Best Asian Artist China : Aron Kwok
Best Male Artist: G-Dragon – HE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THE BEST SOLO RELEASE IN HIS OWN GROUP THIS YEAR.
Song of the year: Cho Young-Pil-Bounce
Best Dance Performance – Male Solo: G-Dragon – “Crooked“ – I give up.
Best Female Vocal Performance: Ailee – “U&I” – Ailee’s World Domination Tour continues.
Style in Music Award: SISTAR – Considering that SISTAR has never looked anything less than chic, and they managed to avoid the whole late 80’s/early 90’s kitsch, give them a Nobel Peace Prize as well.
Next Generation Global Star : A Pink – I will also have to study up on A Pink, as “No No No” is quickly becoming my jam.
Worldwide Performer Award : Infinite – Meh.
International Favorite Artist: Ylvis
Artist of the year: G-Dragon – Oh, for fuck’s sake. If we’re talking solo artists, again, T.O.P and Seungri made better singles than GD this year, Lee Hi had two better songs, and my blood pressure is bothering me.
Best Dance Group Performance: SHINee – Sure.
Best Male Vocal Performance: Lee Seung Gi – No complaints.
Best Rap Performance: Dynamic Duo
Best Band Performance: Busker Busker
Best Female Group: Girls’ Generation – There was no way they were going to lose this one but SNSD has been dangerously riding on reputation alone for a couple of years now.
Best Male Group: Infinite – Sure.
Best Concert Performer: Lee Seung Chul
Best Female artist: Hyori – A strong comeback from an industry force needs some well-earned recognition.
Album of the year: EXO – Even G-Dragon cannot match the vote-rigging powers of EXO’s devoted fan base. The correct answer is Brown Eyed Girls’ Black Box by the way.