Hyomin Celebrates Surviving Four Years of the Hunger Games that is T-ara

T-ara-Hyomin

Hyomin and T-ara celebrated four years of survival under Core Content Media on instagram.

It is hard to tell what T-ara is celebrating: the fact that they made it or the fact that they “made” it. The group, at least musically, has consistently been one of the best acts out there, no matter all the extracurricular bullshit that follows them like the smell of vomit in a frat house. Nevertheless, four years later, and with the original gang of six being the only official members doing shit, Hyomin uploaded this picture to her instagram account per allkpop:

Hyomin celebrated T-ara‘s 4th anniversary on her Instagram!

On July 29, she uploaded a photo of the 6 T-ara members just smiling and being silly on camera, centered around a image that had the number ‘4’ shaped out with their song titles. She also included a photo of a sunflower in the bottom left corner.

She captioned the photo, “I love you“. 

Academic scholars are currently debating the meaning of the photograph and have split into two camps. The first camp, headed by Dr. Tara Arebullies is outraged  and posits that the six are celebrating the supposed elimination and soul eating ceremony of departed members Hwayoung and Ahreum.

“It is disgusting that T-ara can celebrate so happily after Kim Kwang Soo literally devoured Hwayoung’s beating heart in order to gain enough potency to pork Dani” said Dr. Arebullies in a statement to the press.

There are those that disagree with Dr. Arebullies and her school of thought, the most notable of those being Professor Uni Di’notmeanit, who theorizes that the six are actually victims of a varying form of Stockholm Syndrome where the captives start to empathize with their captor by dancing and singing non-stop, irregardless of health, in order to please their tormentor. Professor Di’notmeanit is currently petitioning the APA to have the Dani Disorder listed in the next edition of the DSM.

Said Professor Di’notmeanit, “Clearly, this is a cry for help from T-ara. The proclamation of ‘I love you’ is both a desperate plea for help and a means to pacify their cruel captor.”

Core Content Media could not be reached for comment on this story but a source close to Kim Kwang Soo calls the theories “ridiculous”, noting that “Director Kim does not need to eat the heart of a person to leach their life energy” and that Kim Kwang Soo personally took the photo for T-ara because “they begged him to shoot them all”.

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9 comments

  1. ‘HYOMIN CELEBRATES SURVIVING FOUR YEARS OF THE HUNGER GAMES THAT IS T-ARA’

    Just the title, man… I’m crying right now.

    It’s funny how people are going ape-shit over a simple picture… but then again, people are going ape-shit over anything having to do with T-ara, atm… I bet the next article is gonna be like “Hyomin farts” and all the K-netizens are gonna claim she bullied the air with her disgusting fumes.

    1. Fleur De Seoul · · Reply

      If I could like this comment, I would.

      1. I know, right? For the record, I would live off of Eunjung’s farts if it were possible.

  2. Today is the 1-year anniversary of Hwayoung being kicked-out of the group by KKS.

    Amazing how far T-ara has fallen in just a year.

    1. I still enjoyed “Sexy Love” but yeah, they went from being among the top to looking up at the peak pretty fast.

      1. Yeah – I just meant as far as their standing within the industry goes. I thought they might weather the scandal better than they did.

    2. Me too. I thought that they were fairly bulletproof after “Lovey Dovey” and “Day by Day” but for as great as CCM is at choosing good music, they are horrible at the whole PR thing, so in hindsight I guess it’s not surprising that T-ara would get knocked worse than other groups would have.

  3. Congrats on your finest post.
    T-ara. I can enjoy the T-teror Clusterfuck as much as the next kpop fan but I really do have to wonder if this will continue until at least one of the chickies has suicided.
    Jiyeon for one appears to thrive on the negative attention.
    Enjung does not. Girl was flying the highest before the Hwa smackdown but has since crashed to earth. I worry for her.
    Boram is scrawny and fragile but most people ignore her anyway and even if she dropped dead it would take days for anyone to notice. Probably by tripping over the body.
    Either way keep up the good work Yellowslugger.

    1. Thanks!

      It is an unjust world where Hwayoung and Ahreum are vanquished but Boram continues to live.

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