SE7EN Gets 10 Day Time Out for Wanting a Hand Jibber

20130319_se7en_enlistment

The Korean Ministry of Defense has decided to make SE7EN serve 10 days in military jail for attempting to get a hand job breaking curfew and the military’s dress code. Yeah, sure.

The Ministry of Defense, in their latest attempt to do a quick PR scrub of everything related to celebrity soldiers, handed down sanctions to SE7EN and six others for violating the military’s conduct code. SE7EN was caught in a compromising situation where he was seen leaving a massage parlor in the early hours of the morning by a news crew. The news crew even went as far as to interview the manager of the massage parlor who said that people who entered there around that time knew exactly what they were asking for (it involves manual labor and relieving stress. In the dick). But it looks like to spare everyone from a little more egg on their face (and spunk on their hands), the military is officially buying SE7EN’s story, per allkpop:

Private Choi (Se7en) and Private Lee (Sangchu), who left the dorms without permission to get a massage, have been sentenced to 10 days in military jail. Five celebrity recruits are being sentenced to 4 days of military jail for having a cellphone. The last soldier is being sentenced to 10 days of probation in confinement because he left to watch a movie after hours.

The Ministry of Defense said, “The two soldiers first went to get a massage after their concert. They went to a Chinese massage parlor and then a Thai massage parlor, but they were closed, so they then went to 2 massage parlors that were still open late at night. However, they came out right away when they realized what kind of place it was. We decided that they were aiming to get a massage and had no intentions in participating in prostitution. However, we sentenced them to military jail because they broke the rules of not wearing the military uniform as well as leaving the dorms without permission.

This is almost as laughable as Al Capone only being guilty of tax evasion. Because this was the big problem with celebrity recruits: sneaking out late and wearing deep v-necks and jeans. That is truly an epidemic that caused unspeakable shame for the entire Korean government which needed to be stopped immediately.

So let this be a lesson to all future celebrity soldiers. Don’t you dare wear sneakers in the service or you’ll get thrown in jail. The military takes this type of stuff very seriously.

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3 comments

  1. That’s it? >< I wonder who the other celebrity recruits are and hopefully it sets some kind of example but I seriously doubt it. Because it doesn't seem like any kind of punishment at all to me.

    1. Recruits will now know that unironed shirts will not be tolerated!

  2. 10 days isn’t enough, they should AT LEAST get a month… they’re hated everywhere, anyway, might as well stay there to hide their shame.
    Cut their hair off, too.

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