Waifu Wednesday: Jeon Hyosung

Jeon Hyosung is a Korean singer and dancer. She is the leader of K-Pop group Secret. Their recent single ‘Poison’ has convinced me that Hyosung is actually not a real human being, but a dream wrapped in a fantasy wrapped in Heaven’s embrace.

Jeon Hyosung can’t seem to win and yet can’t seem to lose. She is famous for her “gummy smile” and her um… upper body. Because she has bewbz you see. Long noted for her “thicker” body proportions and cute cheek fat and for being frank about it (she noted that her profile lied when it said she weighed 100 lbs, she actually weighed 110 at the time), Hyosung slimmed down for ‘Poison’, somehow losing weight only on her face and hips, while leaving everything else (and I mean everything) intact. In a move that made them look like Asian mothers, netizens suddenly decried Hyosung’s weight loss as too dramatic (Yes, the “appropriate” body weight for Hyosung exists somewhere between 100 and 110 lbs in netizens’ deranged minds with 110 being worryingly obese and 100 being deathly anorexic). If anything, Hyosung clearly demonstrates that all netizens should be ignored and promptly fired into the sun. I’m damn sure the only reason they are up in arms over this is that Jeon Hyosung makes all their favorite idols look like androgynous children in comparison.

Editor’s Note: Jeon Hyosung causes me to slowly devolve into a primitive grunting ape. My dearest apologies.

Her:

I would lick Jeon Hyosung’s shoes clean for her if she so much as mentioned that they were dirty.

Cuter than the cutest button.

Her spitting on me in disgust would rank among the highlights of my life.

“I ain’t even tryin’ hard.”

God actually spent the seventh day creating Jeon Hyosung.

“Hi there, just being cuter than you.”

She pretty everybody.

“Oh, and more beautiful.”

Me want. Slug smash!

“Did I mention that I’m also sexier than all y’alls?”

Grunt grunt.

“U mad?”

OOOOH OOOOHH AAAHHHH AAAHHH!

Hyosung Madonna 2012

“Deal with it”

Me:

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3 comments

  1. ilpalazzo · · Reply

    Her tummy is so sexy ❤ She's beautiful

  2. Romina M · · Reply

    she is the best !!! ^_^

  3. She is the best !!! Secret fighting !!!

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